Kaylyn

Okay this sound alot like a story i have read somewhere before....I mean alot like it. The training, the mission, the close friend.... it really sounds familiar. Just letting you ...

Okay there is a little bit of Eragon in here with the whole farm boy and all then finding out that he is something great. A little bit of Dragonflight ...

I like what you have so far. There are a few grammar mistakes but they have been addressed already so I won't go back over them. I agree that it ...

Creak, Went the floor boards as the door slammed against the hinges. Went should not be capitilized. A shadow passed passed her face, she was sure it was just her ...

Thanks for all the critique. It helps my book out alot.

It looks great so far. I like reading short chapters because it is easy to critique. It looks like you have taken care of the grammar mistakes. Great job, and ...

I like where you are going so far. There was a spelling mistake or two. There is suppossed to be a space before I and am. I also like the ...

Great Job! It was a bit confusing at the beginning but hey thats fine. Also You had a few grammar mistakes. You didn't capitilize at the beginning of one of ...

If you have not read the previous chapters please do. They are essential to understanding this story. To those who have been keeping up with the story, I hope you ...

Thanks for all the critism, it has really helped my writing. I am off to write the 6th section of half-blood.

I have edited it and added some parts into it. Hope you all like it! Thanks for the critique, the only way for it to get better is if you ...

Ok, I will definately edit it!

~ Chapter One ~ Nightmares I woke up screaming, again. It was the same vivid, reoccurring nightmare I had been having for months. I waited a moment or two to ...

This story is very hard to understand and I don't think it can stand on its own. I am sure it is a great story but it is very hard ...

Okay there are one or two grammar mistakes, somewhere in the story you spelled realised wrong, it's realized. Janus grinned at his Lieutenant. "Spearmint chewing gum, sir. You want one?" ...