Kaylyn

Okay okay, I'll look over it again, just so you can post the second part *grumbles and mutters to self* here goes: I looked up into the sky hoping for... ...

I like the beginning it demanded my attention, right now I am in a vampire phase (because of Twilight) so i look for vampire novels wherever I can. You have ...

Okay I hate to say it, to repeat it, since I get angry when others accused me of it, right now IT SEEMS LIKE TWILIGHT!!! But you could, like me ...

Sometimes you can be the best squad and hit it every time in practice, but get to a competition and just be horrible. You only have two minutes and one ...

Thanks this is a rough draft. I am in my second year of cheerleading and definately enjoy it. I cheer for a gym instead of a school, its really great. ...

Okay here goes. I don't mean to sound harsh in any way. I agree with Bickazer, I could see this being on an animated show or even a comic book. ...

She is 5 years old in human years but physically and mentally she is 21. Anyways I am editing it majorly. I just wanted to see what people wanted to ...

I really like what you have got. Its a totally original idea. I hope you continue with it because well, I hate cliffhangers. I didn't find any mistakes that jumped ...

Okay, I found it a bit confusing. Describe everything in a bit more detail. Also it sounds well unrealistic for Alan to be sleepy and then suddenly jump up ready ...

Thanks, you helped me out lots guys, I'll get right on editing it!

Thanks, I certainly will.

Your character Leo is interesting, it sounds really good. I couldn't see any grammatical mistakes that jumped out at me. There is detail, which is good. I hope you keep ...

This is a great story so far. I like what you have anf I hope you keep going with it. Please, PM me when you put more of this story ...

Thanks I'll do that. I can't let you know the answer to that question, it would give things away.

Okay here goes: Jeff did not speak to me. He stood a safe distance away, holding his rifle, with his back to his prisoner. I studied him impassively, trying not ...