Kaylyn

~ Chapter Three ~ “You’re… you’re the Warrior Queen,” Fallyn sputtered nervously. All thoughts of not showing weakness was all gone now. The floorboards creaked as Fallyn shifted her wait ...

Yes, it getting nearer to dark, it was almost dark when she was done with dinner. And she didn't eat. So she was in and out. Therefore, yes it was ...

Thanks, though unfortunately I had to change it in order for my story to work, I think you'll like chapter two alot though. I promise it had lots of action.

There is a prologue and chapter one prior to this. If you read chapter one, well you might want to go back and reread it. I changes it alot, and ...

Yeah, sorry about that. Its a bad habit. I am writing like three stories right now in different POV. I'll fix that... hehe, thanks for pointing that out.

Wow, that's coming along pretty good. I didn't see any major grammar mistakes, but I don't look for those anyway. It's pretty short, and there is enough detail in my ...

I love the story line, I just think you couldn't get away with writing a whole series like this because well, its confusing. It was exciting, and I started connecting ...

Wow. Very descriptive, although I prefer happy endings, you wrote this piece beautifully and thats what counts. You did great on the imagery, unfortunately I could see everything happening, :) ...

Hehe, thanks. I like you version better. I'll edit it.

Okay, okay, I get your point, I added some action to it. Hopefully, it looks alot better know.

Wow, great writing, although at the beginning you have alot of telling instead of showing. This piece was amazing. Do you have it finished yet? Or are you just posting ...

Loved your post, only the reason I am reading this one is because I have read them out of order. I hate doing that but yours was just too interesting ...

Wow, this is original. I found at the beginning you started alot, I mean alot, of sentances that began with she or Ebony. Change it up some, don't have Abony ...

I've posted Chapter one now. YEAH. Hope you like it!

~ Chapter One ~ The leaves crunched under her feet as she ran joyfully though the Forests of Raiyne. The girl had lived there her entire life. She passed the ...