Kaylyn

Wow... I LOVED LOVED LOVED IT!!!!! Okay now that I got that out of the way, you had no major grammar mistakes or punctition that I saw when I read ...

Wow, long chapter there, you may want to break it up. I find that it helps me when I do line by line critiques. From what I've read it looks ...

~ Chapter Four ~ Fallyn came through the other side of the Looking Glass. Glancing down she discovered that she still held it. Unusual sounds caught her ears, it sounded ...

You'll find out, I don't want to ruin the next few chapters.

Yes I agree. You might want to work on your grammar. Describe your surroundings more. focus on the MC we know nothing about them. Good idea though. I love reading ...

Yahoo will have articles. You could also try News site, or just news and make Google search. Or just the newspaper. Good luck with it. I had to do it ...

pitch

I agree, your grammar's horrible *giggles* but it looks like its already been pointed out. I think its a great story for your history class though. I wish I had ...

Do I want to stay? Do I want to go? With my mixed up feelings I don't know I wish that making a choice Was easy But life isn't that ...

[quote] Rictus know that escape was easy, but how could he explain to his parents? [quote] I think you meant knew not know. Other than that, the grammars good. You're ...

Hey, I liked Zane better than David. David's too moody and he listens to everything his mother says. I hated it when Zane died, I almost cried, which is no ...

Hey, I liked Zane better than David. David's too moody and he listens to everything his mother says. I hated it when Zane died, I almost cried, which is no ...

Yes, Meggie and Mo are annoying names but thats an original idea, it was different. Reading things that come out of a book is an awesome idea. Capricorn...well I did ...

Thanks alot! I really love to read and thickness doesn't bother me. I'm a speed reader. I read Breaking Dawn in less than twelve hours. I've heard of these, and ...

Please don't take my crits to harshly. It is here to help you. Okay grammar.... You need to put spaces inbetween your punctition. please. I didn't see any spelling mistakes ...