Kaylyn

Alright then here goes. *cracks knuckles* I would suggest that you shorten the second line, Take a word or two out of that sentance. Its messing with the flow of ...

If you want to call this a poem I think that you need more structure and a more steady beat, or rhythm. I think that you should break up the ...

First off, I think that this beginning is a bit cliche. There are so many stories that begin like this. I would suggest that you put more original thought into ...

Okay, *cracks knuckles* Its been a while since I've done a review, but here I go: I found that some of your lines are to wordy, such as the third ...

Thanks, I know it sounds a bit choppy, but I do have my reasons for it. It is there to break the flow, just like the person realised that they ...

This is a very old piece of mine. Thank you for editing it though. :) Yes, I am a huge fan of Levine. :) In fact i have read and ...

I hear the ocean's roar, And feel the moonlight's rays, The feel of your hand in mine; And the stars loving gaze. Gentle breezes blow by softly, Water so gently ...

No time was right, but no time was truly wrong, I tried so hard, to comprehend why... I had waited so long, The time was close, yet somehow a bit ...

I have to agree with the previous, the last line does seem a bit rushed. The last two lines of the first stanza seem a bit cliche to me. This ...

I would take out the last stanza. Its awkward and ruins the flow. I like the first three but the rhyming sounds a wee bit forced. Loosen up a little. ...

Welcome Fortuna, Its nice to see that you have stumbled across this great website. :) So just some basic rules then: No chatspeak, such as lol jk and the such. ...

Welcome to the most awesome site ever! :) I know that you have come to the right place to correct your writings and your style. I know that mine did. ...

No reason to be shy. :) Well if you have any specific questions, or need any reviews feel free to PM me. Keep off the caps. The administrators on the ...

Welcome to YWS! Glad to see that you stumbled upon this account. Basically you just post your works here, and others review what you post. Of course, its common curteousy ...

It is actually my final exam essay for school :)