Kale

For a first chapter, this brings up a lot of questions. Now, this could be a good thing, and it usually is, but some of the questions I had were ...

It probably doesn't help that I haven't read the previous chapters, but this was quite confusing, and not in the way I think you intended it to be. Everything moved ...

Let me preface this by saying that I remember 9/11. I had just delivered the attendance sheets to the office when the TV they always have playing the news switched ...

The wolf emerged from the shadows, its wet black nose twitching. It hesitated, sniffing the air, and took another step forward, it’s eyes glued to my hands. I looked down ...

Hello there. I shall be reviewing you this fine Review Day, and though I have not read the previous chapters, I hope I can still be helpful. That said, my ...

This review is a completely pointless review whose purpose is to be a review only in characters because nobody can rightly review a piece that has been deleted, and seeing ...

I thought great, another post-apocalyptic horror novel You need to set off the thought somehow, otherwise it reads as a run-on, which can confuse your readers. Italics ( Great, another... ...

Hello there, and welcome to YWS. I'll be reviewing you this fine day. That said, overall, this chapter/prologue felt very rough, as if you posted it up before editing. There ...

Hello there, Charade. Before I begin my review, I'd like to point out that you've got two tags floating at the beginning and end of the piece. They're a bit ...

We had been traveling for a good space of time and I had bored of the silence. “Let’s stop when we reach Wayd this evening. I’ll rent a room at ...

Again, Stella pretty well covered everything I would have said, so I'll just point out some particular things that could be worked on. Such as Zavier's reaction to Victor's refusal ...

I liked this chapter, especially the ending scene with the sleeping potion. It might not contribute anything directly to the plot, but it's little scenes like those that make the ...

I liked this chapter much better than the previous one. The dryad was interesting, and I especially liked how you incorporated the traditional bargaining fairies were notorious for. There was ...

Stella pretty much nailed everything, so I don't have much to say. XD So just consider me seconding everything she pointed out, especially the Princess' dialogue. It could do with ...

I liked Daldiana's letter since it really showed how close the two were, though I wonder why it seemed like Zavier had forgotten about it (rather than deliberately waiting until ...