Kale

Hello Meoiu. I noticed that the description said this was under revision, but as I am on a quest to clear the Green Room of ALL THE WORKS , I ...

And here I am for chapter four, as promised in my previous review. As Exus and James were leaving, an awkward silence came about. This sentence made me realize one ...

Hello again Carlos. I haven't read chapter two, but since this chapter and the next have been stuck in the Green Room for so long, I'm here to free them ...

Hello DarkPandemonium. Before I start this review, I just thought I'd let you know that I haven't read the previous parts, so if I mention anything that's already been addressed ...

As Rubric already pointed out the spelling and grammar issues, I'll just be focusing on my impressions of this piece. Now, I happen to have a very large and squishy ...

lines because I'm that man who wants to watch world burn. Um, what? This doesn't make any sense, and it looks like there was text before this that got cut ...

DarkPandemonium mentioned the issues with your dialogue. I am going to reiterate what he said for extra emphasis, because the dialogue in this piece is it's weakest part. This article ...

watch out, he has a jonquil. He totally has a jonquil and you know it. ;P On a more serious note, I'm not really sure what the numbers contribute (aside ...

Hello there courtney, and welcome to YWS. I, Kyllorac, am a Knight of the Green Room, tasked with ensuring that no piece ever has less than two reviews, and so ...

Before I mention anything else, I feel compelled to point out that you have a typo in your title. This is very bad. Very very bad. What having a typo ...

that have no limit on their wall. I'm with Audy on this. This line doesn't make much sense, and it was only after a fair bit of squinting at it ...

They’re inherently omnivorous I suppose? I believe you mean herbivorous . Omnivores are those that eat both plant and animal matter. I’m not fast too attach to people, nor to ...

Mark Twain once said "generally, the fewer the words that fully communicate or evoke the intended ideas and feelings, the more effective the communication". There's descriptive writing, and then there

Hello abelgaiya. I, Kyllorac, a Knight of the Green Room am here to liberate this installment of yours from the verdant grasp of the Green Room! Though I'm honestly wondering ...

Woahwaitwhat? Is this a non-linear story? If so, I have just one question: why? Nonlinear storytelling is very difficult to pull off well, and you need a very good reason ...