KaitelynMiller

I'm not done yet, but I wanted input. The lush forest surrounded me as I ran. My legs ached, my heart pumped, my lungs screamed. None of that mattered. I ...

The Cherry Wood Forest surrounded me as I ran. My legs throbbed and my short breaths came less and less frequently. I looked for a place to stop and hide, ...

Thumbs up, thumbs up, thumbs up! Great job ending this. My only thing is, character development. Even though it's a short story it doesn't mean you shouldn't add depth to ...

Someone was chasing me. We were in a dark forest. Fog was creeping around me. Leaves rustled and I heard a shot. Pain coursed through my leg and I saw ...

I'm pretty sure Apple covered everything grammatically. I just want my opinion out there, that it is an amazing work. You did a very nice job with character developement and ...

I really like this, Zoray. It's real. No one's life is perfect and you make that obvious. There are a few nitpicks, of course. She stood up on her pointed ...

I like what you did with the colors being feelings. It adds something unique to your piece. I would hope this turns out to be a compilation of letters to ...

Sarebear, This piece has potential. It really does. But there are flaws. :arrow: As vox nihili said, the beginning is really dry. When something is dry, readers are less apt ...

I like this. A lot of emotion. But just reading what I did, I didn't know what was going on. Sometimes you have to tell not show. (despite what everyone ...

I really love this piece. It sounds like the begining to a book I would read. You should absolutely submit this in a contest. Afterwards (after you win that is), ...

I'm sure you've heard this a million and a half times, but you really need to work on spelling. This isn't a text you're sending to a friend; it's a ...

Ross, I actually love the Twilight series a lot. And when I read the first few lines I was disturbed at what I was reading. But as I continued (i ...

personalinsanity, This is really deep. I liked reading it. Plus the formal elements in it keep things in line. Inside I feel like I am hopeless Out of reach of ...

I'm not done yet. And I don't have a name. I actually am kinda worried that it sounds awkward. Please give me advice for this. Enjoy! I was walking around ...

Her light green eyes full of passion every time she kissed him. Her light brown hair tied into an elegant plait , strands falling into front of her eyes. While ...