JustDance

gold star! =]

I agree. Seeing something so longg is well..scary...hehe. People will probs just look at the length and if it's too longg nott read itt. Cut it out into parts, and ...

Here I changed it up a bit: I slowly opened my eyes and squinted as the midmorning sun blinded me for a second. I heard the sound of footsteps in ...

Thanks! It's for a contest && it can only be on an animal's pov...

Okay thanks! Could you maybe like give an example???

Thanks! =]

Thank you! i'll change it as soon as possible. =]

Thanks! =]

Thanksss guysss! haha...it's ok octobergirl...critcism is what i wanttt =] unleasttt all of itt wasn't badddd.rofl...=]

I

Niceee...haha i know a Tim..he's shorttt so I kept on imagaining a shortt guy, which made me laugh a lottt. rofl..i'm so randommm...

Commentsss? Please??? *puppy dog face*

It was intresting...confusing in only a few parts. I liked it overall Nice P.O.V. not what most readers think of doing. very orignal. =]

Tcspyder. Her's does NOT suck, it needs improment but I liked it.

re read your story..i added tips. =]