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Re: Writers block
Hey, Hope! I don't know that I've ever reviewed you before. At any rate, here this goes. :) This short story is straining against itself, almost as if it's got ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: a man's worst friend
Goodness, Jack. You should write more poetry. The poem started off on good legs, and kept on steadily through most of it. There were a few lines where this grew ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: one step at a time
Hey, Moosie! Totally a candid photo here. I'd recommend casting a 5% blur over the background -- just enough so that the couple is not so much in focus; you're ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: To Classy and Silent
Whoa! How awesome is this? It looks like a rainbow-colored-radioactive-adorable dinosaur! It won't eat Class and Silent, will it? :D Anyway! I would define the eye juuuust a little bit ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: The News
Bahador! The problem with this poem -- aside from the structural parts that people have licked -- is that you are not expressing your view of the theme well enough. ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: Firelight
Hi, Fixed! Not bad here! I'm with Adnamarine -- it was a little hard to focus, and I ready our note about it being like a fire, so I can ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: Dry your eyes
Hullo, Vanda, Nice work here. I think you have a steady concept to work with, and I do like your wording style. I have a few nitpicks, though! To every ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: Need an Avatar? [Closed]
I don't mean to sound preachy or anything, but when you post the avatars up for use, include the link for the original artwork. :D And... I'm due for a ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: Hello Tuesday (about my boy)
Hey, Aloha, In the assumption that this is a song, I think it's decent. (YWS has a separate Lyrics forum for song lyrics). Some of the lines could be versed ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: fake
Hi, Moosie,' I don't know what to make of this, haha. The first three lines were soft, and I couldn't judge by them. Why they did not necessarily hook me, ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: Ask a question here (or start a new topic!)
My YWS > Overview > Manage Drafts Let us know if you need anything else! :) June
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: Pollution
Hi, Sana Yesterday when i went to the fish market, The pronoun I should always be capitalized, because it's a proper noun. A comma would be in place after yesterday. ...
Jan 21, 2010 -
Re: My artifice
Hey, Ray! Such a pretty poem! In the third stanza, the first line stumbles. I'm not sure that no more-no reads as smoothly as it should (and as a side ...
Jan 20, 2010 -
Re: Dackoda!
Cuuute. It reminds me of a dinosaur. I'd shade the underside of the face-thing, strengthen the darkness of the eye and also shade the ear (?) area. I like the ...
Jan 20, 2010 -
Re: Shades of Red (with pictures)
Hallo, Kaywiia! Your username and avatar are the equivalent of epic win. ;) Red is blood on a battlefield, Where a killed soldier lay But that’s too depressing, Let’s not ...
Jan 20, 2010
