Jon

i will absolutly put you out of your misery chapters one through five in fantasy fiction just go to Chapter five: Future meeting, A Power Switch, and A Cold Cave ...

Words are mazes set in ink,---- good way to describe it! born without bearings, thrown in the paper clink.---- i think that clink is a weird word to put here ...

hello and welcome to YWS but the rules are that you need to do two reviews before you post anything that means you need to do read two other peoples ...

please i really need comments! :D

hi and welcome to YWS but before you post you should make two reviews first and try to keep it for every one post you do have two reviews :D ...

Chapter Five Future Meeting, A power Switch, and A Cold Cave The Canaby sisters started to descend from the sky around midday, they dove through the clear sky to the ...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Chamber The silence is suffocating. Life consigned to eternal punishment here deadens, decays, dies in a few days.-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Chamber The silence is suffocating. Life consigned to eternal punishment here deadens, decays, dies in a few days.-

i liked this peice but i think that you should add a little more to it to describe the mood a little more and whats happening in your poem. if ...

thank you everyone for reviewing my peice and i'm glad some of you like it i will fix all of the grammer mistakes later punctuation isn't my strongest suit but ...

Stainless steel bars assigned in black coloring – eyelashes.-- good way of describing eye lashes Feathery lids in forms of strong steel close in on its devil–unknown. Powered-up solely, with ...

i liked this poem a lot i liked how in the end he got what he deserved and that he finally looked at himself but by then it was too ...

Trapped in trapped out the key is my shout. no one hears my cry or tears for they have left, I am trapped in and trapped out now my shout ...

this piece was an interesting one but it was a little rushed in my opinion, i think that you should slow it down and maybe describe the bedroom, describe her ...

thank you billy, all of your comments were really great, i went back through and fixed the chapter,it sounds better :D thankyou ---Jon---