Jiggity

I know this is a strange thing to find fault with, but still: He took a deep breath, snapped his fingers, and muttered, “Fire!” Okay, no offence but that sounds ...

Wow. That was one of the best written stories I've read on this site. Truly an exceptional piece. Some suggestions though: the adventure might do him so good the adventure ...

There are some definite good bits...but on the whole: its not so good. I get the feeling that the story is stretched a little thin. It needs to be more ...

Quote: A tall, slim, bearded robbed man sat alone at a corner table, deep in the back. Its robed, not robbed my silly little friend. Keep writing, you definetly have ...

Zelithon wrote: Most hateful: Jigsaw and Phoenix not hated, but hateful by the way if you payed attention you wuold see i already nominated myself for worse speller. I was ...

"his long obsidian leather coat" Obsidian is, as far as i know, a volcanic material and it can not be made into clothing. It would be better to say: his ...

That was very, very good. I liked it and i assume you will connect that event to the first part in the next installment. However: He slid it open, and ...

In that case it was really well done. Congrats, laddie.

I've been wondering; when you want to get published do you: go to a literary agent and pitch your idea to them and then write the actual story? OR do ...

I'll second that: Most pointless, worthless and misspelt comments: Zelithon. Also, MisterWaffles: what the hell's a matter with you? That fish was freakin huge...and it hurt.. :cry: p.s- on a ...

i live in the most elite part of California so close to the beach i can here it at night. In a huge house with enough bedrooms for all of ...

Dont worry--no ones holding their breath. I mean, why dont you try and dominate spelling first. Imbecile. Take baby steps.

This needs some serious revising. The ending especially. It does however still have a lot of potential, as for the most part it was enjoyable and good. I'll leave it ...

Is this a prologue, a first chapter, or the entire story? Until i know this I will reserve my judgement. otherwise, here are some suggestions: It had reached its peak ...

Ive been a member for oh a couple of months now, I dont know anyone here, and Im pretty sure no one knows or remebers me/anything I've said. Does that ...