Jester

Hmm, I think I'll have to give this one a shot. I don't know if I can do it, but it will be worth the effort.

I enjoy the wording, but I think the way you cut the lines kind of murders the flow. I can see a very good poem before my eyes, except the ...

Welcome to YWS. I'm a bit new here myself, but it's nice to see someone new. And if you need help with the forum, I suggest that you DON'T ask ...

I think any age group is fine for me, but one thing I particularly like about the younger age group is that their childish ambitions and naivety are very interesting ...

Thanks for the comments! You both bring up very good points. With the 'my brother' part, I guess I was aiming for repetition for effect, but like you said, I ...

I wrote this simple poem when I was a bit younger when I heard that there could be a military draft for the War in Iraq. Although I doubt it ...

They are both some of the best fantasy novels to date, but if I had to choose, I would pick The Lord of the Rings because I am extremely fascinated ...

Welcome, Anthony! Oh, and your birthday is coming up soon! BTW, how do you play chess? My younger brother tried teaching me once, some years back, and I started to ...

Alright, I see. I often overdo the commas and somehow I find a way to justify it that doesn't make sense. Thanks!

no comma after 'how' no comma after 'child.' Are you sure this needs to be done? I placed those commas because I made an interruption into the sentence, and it ...

What you mention about dialogue is extremely true. As a reader I crave nothing more than dialogue and sometimes often skip over a paragraph of description as soon as my ...

Not exactly sure how to delete this.

In the world of writing, we often turn to peers, mentors, and books for help. While we cannot specifically advise someone a peer or mentor, we can, in fact, offer ...

Hello! This will be my first time here and I'm really glad I found this forum. Everything seems perfectly structured, the members all seem kind enough, and I haven't even ...