Jeanette

Wow, long comments. Anyways, thanks guys for commenting! I know the story's a bit rough (I actually wrote a couple years ago, and didn't go over it to fix grammatical ...

:Jeanette: Chapter 1 Have you ever had that feeling, when you’re not sure if you’re dreaming or not? When you have a sense of déjà vu? Or when you just ...

:Jeanette: Chapter 1 “Protecting is in my blood, it was only a reaction, he deserved it anyways.” I tried to console my guilt stricken mind, I’d gotten into yet another ...

First off, I really like the format you've gone with; the incomplete sentence kind of thing. I must say though, that even though I think it's good the way it ...

:Jeanette: Through glass I see, A world so far past, Slipping from my grasp, And fading from my memories. Through glass I see, A sister, a best friend, A fellow ...

:Jeanette: You see me as I am Yet I'm showing you lies. You look and say you understand, But do you see me or my disguise? Do you see past ...

I love the message and story it tells, but your rhythm is off. Try reading it aloud and see where you've got too many syllables. Some of the words you ...

:Jeanette: Freedom is never free, We learn this through life, We know of wars; hard-earned liberty, We know of fear and strife. We know the taste of injustice, We've heard ...

:Jeanette: I see my image painted on glass, As I stand on each side of me, And again there are two in front and back, All exact yet different copies. ...

it's great poem! It'd be great as a note on Google or something. Haha, but you've been told about all this already. Great job, the rhythm is good, you kept ...

Very nice rhyming! It tells a great story and you've got a great rhythm going throughout the entire poem. The words you chose to rhyme were excellent and intertwined nicely ...

The vocabulary really makes the poem, it puts it in the time period you're talking about. The rhyming was brilliant as well, though I wonder why you stopped in the ...

Awesome subject, and very nice details. It feels like it rhymes when in actuality it doesn't always. It has a very good rhythm, though the meaning can be sketchy, maybe ...

You seem to lose the rhythm as you go through the poem. The style of rhyming doesn't help that, though the style does fit the subject. You start the poem ...

I love the mirrored style you used, though the poem itself didn't really paint a picture (for me at least). All the adjectives and details are there, I just think ...