Jay

It's got an intriguing title and a good introduction. Very descriptive and interesting. The only thing that bothers me is the phrase "All of her family's families were all bigger ...

Like others said, clearing up the spelling and grammar will make this a lot easier to read. I'm interested to see how the concept develops. I'm unsure about Crystal/Berenice though-she ...

I really liked it-very gripping. I'm curious to see what happens next with Noel and I liked the dialogue between Theol and Dala. At the moment I'm thinking Noel could ...

It's certainly a very dark first chapter, what with the 'Death Follows' and Charles killing the man. That makes me curious-why did he kill him, apart from the strangely familiar ...

I liked the suspense built up-I really wanted to find out about the letter. I also like how Harry doesn't talk to anyone but himself. There's a lot of questions ...