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Re: Storm (revised)
Easy! A beautiful thing has happened this night— [colon instead] the storm clouds moved in. I don't much like this second line. It's very weak and elementary compared to the ...
Jul 26, 2008 -
Re: Daemon
Easy! The daemon claws [s]at the[/s] at the closed door, Gurgling noises escaping [s]from [/s]her mouth. I'm gonna go with Blink here. I don't entirely understand why gurgling is capitalized ...
Jul 19, 2008 -
Re: Slaughter-Man
Mantis! I made an attachment with my critique. I have all the details in there, so I do hope you find some of it valuable or to your liking. ^_^ ...
Jul 19, 2008 -
Re: Swamptime
Grammar and First Impressions Jerome took a brief stroll through the crystalline soul of a major reptilian beast, sick with scurvy from lack of lake fronts to envelop. So that ...
Jul 18, 2008 -
Re: {Edited version of untitled story, suggestions welcome}
Hi, Fire! I haven't critted in what seems like forever, so forgive me for anything that doesn't make sense. ^^ Grammar and First Impressions I pulled the fuzz off of ...
Jul 17, 2008 -
Re: If you named "Big Brother..."
Big Brother Is The Youngest Sibling. Big Brother Is Your Big Sister. Big Brother Needs A Life. Big Brother's Birthday Is December 21, 2012. Big Brother, The One And Only! ...
Jul 17, 2008 -
Re: What Is Your Favorite Least Favorite Color!?
Navy Blue, I guess? Doesn't really go with anything.. :P
Jul 12, 2008 -
Re: Paranoia, Ch.1 /P
Brad! Grammar and First Impressions ...or else he'd be the little brother nobody remembered, and that was not happening. This was cute. xD Adults weren't always trustworthy, after all. Awesome. ...
Jul 12, 2008 -
Re: Would you pay to remove ads?
I've trained myself to ignore them? And some of them are rather amusing. xD Maybe when I'm not broke and am actually making money, I'll manage a few dollars your ...
Jul 11, 2008 -
Re: The Possession
Es ist meinen Bär! *hugs* Grammar and First Impressions That ghost, Lillian’s grandma or not, is hurting us.” Does that sound like something Richard would say? " It is hurting ...
Jul 10, 2008 -
Re: Griffin Names?
Richard.
Jul 10, 2008 -
Re: July's Greeter of the Month: Sleeping Valor!
Yay, Valor! You're amazing! ^_^ And welcome back! :wink: ~ Jabber ~
Jul 9, 2008 -
Re: Is it possible to make an original story?
1. Is this story original?Have you seen something similar to it before? First, do me a favor and think about how many book were ever written. Now tell me how ...
Jul 9, 2008 -
Re: The ongoing Adventures of Bib Fickle
:shock: ... ..... ... :shock: That was intense. [spoiler] Grammar and First Impressions This is a very general blah line-by-line. Mainly on commas. I can easily get more specific if ...
Jul 7, 2008 -
Re: Boxes
I was going to do this last night, but then my internet crashed. *cries* I'm feeling kinda bad right now, but I'm gonna crit like I said I would! *asks ...
Jul 7, 2008