JFW1415

The promised critique! Nit-Picks His strong pronounced [s]cheek bones[/s] cheekbones and deep brown eyes kept [s]eping[/s] her spell bound. She was entranced by the massive power of the horse beneath ...

Don’t worry – I was good this time! I didn’t read the critiques until after finished my critique. When I did, though, I saw many lines that have been improved ...

That’s for the thanks. ;P You know, when I first started this, I stupidly thought there would only be eight pieces. Then I got to number eight, and saw that ...

I'm back, yet again. :wink: Same format as always. Highlighted Comments 1. Combine this with the next paragraph. 2. I don’t really like how you wrote this… 3. And? Was ...

Sick of me yet? :wink: Paragraph Edits “This place is messy!” I said looking around at all the ropes and sludge and barrels of miscellaneous items on the deck. Andrew ...

Yet another one. :roll: Paragraph Edits “Ahhh, roast duck,” Henry said. I watched the men around the table as their eyes turned ravenous at the sight of the bird on ...

Again! Paragraph Edits I inclined my head to him from across the table, mostly to avert my eyes. “Elizab- er, Izabe- Isabelle, uh. I’m Iza,” I stuttered. What’s with this? ...

Yet another critique by me... Paragraph Edits The chimpanzee holding Angie’s hand let go and ran across the deck on all fours while screeching loudly. Hahaha! I knew it. ;P ...

Paragraph Edits “Well, I’ll watch the helm,” Kross said to Henry. “I was a Captain’s mate when I was a younger lad. I probably have the most ship smarts around ...

I'm back! Sorry if I miss anything; I was editing for content rather than punctuation/spelling. Paragraph Edits “Henry!” Angie said sharply. “You’d better be glad the girl was awake before ...

I'm finally here! I promised these critiques ages ago! :roll: Anyways, not enough for a line-edit, so I did a paragraph edit! Paragraph Edits I awoke hours later in the ...

I have finally finished! This review took a while. I put in 95 comments! But it was amazing. I'm pointing out the tinest things to make it even better. This ...

I'm back, as promised. Paragraph Comments Judy Earnshaw walked into the party area. It was very well decorated, with odd globe lamps and torches lighting up the village square. All ...

I'm baaack! :wink: Here to claim the few points for ages of work as always. (Feel the guilt! haha) Yeah...that's pretty much it. Long critique in the attachment. Good luck, ...

Here you go. :wink: Again, I'll only get like, 10 points for this since I'm posting an attachment, but oh, well. It saves a bit of time. Good luck, and ...