JFW1415

Especially because there is so little action in this story, you really need to beef it up with other things. Bring us a little closer to Gia, and allow us ...

I'm pretty sure the police would come to the door? Not positive, but I think so. Do some research first. =] Write the emotions - the after-affects - while you ...

lol. The things an imagination will do to love. =] Anyways, this was a very cute piece. I definitely liked the gentle perfection of the man, and the sweet shyness ...

I don’t really know what to say to this, because I honestly enjoyed it. It was written well and everything tied together perfectly. I have a few things that bothered ...

This is a very nice portrayal of a rather stereotyped figure. However, the ending confuses me. It seems like she wants the world, not the tour, yet when she goes ...

I definitely like the idea of this, and some parts are very good, but you rush a lot. You choose to show these scenes because they are important, yet you ...

It’s not bad, but it is insanely unrealistic. No way would they discuss a common man’s death without alerting the family first. The boy may find out by watching television ...

I’ll admit it – I’m lazy, and I didn’t read the other critiques. So don’t yell at me if I repeat things? Anyways, I didn’t understand this piece very much. ...

I really can’t decide if I like this or not. I read all four pages without being bored, which I guess is a good thing, but it wan’t that great. ...

This critique will most likely seem very contradictory, mainly because that’s how I think of this piece. It’s very profound. You look at tears very logically and can see the ...

haha, I guess I don't make myself very clear. =] It's a little kid who sleep walks. Her (or his, I guess) parents are 'they'. He subconsciously is trying to ...

Thanks guys! Cross: I definitely want to consider your critique, but I'm not sure where you see the problems. Could you be a little more specific so I can look ...

I'm 31:405, which is about 1:13. I'm more of a critiquer. I can critique any day, but I have to have inspiration (and patience and luck and... well, you get ...

So, I think I may be stealing your life here, but you help me so so much, so please look at Night Walker ? Let me know if you want ...

Night Walker 'tis a poem. =] *loves* ~JFW1415