JFW1415

Welcome! Don't worry-rambling's good! Just not in stories... :shock: Anyway, PM me if you'd like me to review any of your stories, or for no reason at all. :P ~JFW1415

Hey Sassy! Welcome to YWS! I'd love to review some of your stuff. Just PM me with a link. Or PM me for no reason at all. :P ~JFW1415

Hey! I'm not that good at poetry, but I can attempt to review it if you'd like. Just PM me. :P Or PM me for no reason at all. Your ...

Hello! I would be a smart-aleck like everyone else on here (lol, just kidding,) and speak spanish, but my teacher doesn't speak English, so I'm not the best.... I'm kind ...

Wait-isn't his name Kingsley? Whatever. I liked it, although it reminded me of Earogon (or however you spell that.) I actually couldn't find any mistakes! *Claps for B.Ink*

Good! You're taking out the first one. But I'd leave the other two squashed up. I knew what you meant there, and it sounded good. And about the whole second-person ...

Well, there's nothing more to say after Sam's review, but there is one thing she didn't have. How does this tie into your story? I've read the next chapter, and ...

*Cracks knuckles* Alright, I'm going to give a MAJOR review. Why? Because this is so good, it's not fair to it not to point out the tiniest thing that will ...

I really enjoyed the edited version. I wasn't being lectured at! :P The only spot I could find that sworddance didn't already point out was the name. Bananatown. Sorry, but ...

Alright, anything after this post is for the revised version. PLEASE review and tell me what you think! I'll review yours if you do, just PM me. :P Thanks!

I like it! I hope you continue. The only thing I could find was the lack of character development, although that is probably just because it is flash fiction.

I only realised that something was wrong when you stopped laughing. I only realised what was wrong when I turned to see what you were looking at. Headlights. Flight. The ...

In the beginning I think you should explain what "the Watch" is to avoid unnecessary confusion. Also explain about the murderers and this...guild. The phrase, "venom from a cobra’s fang" ...

I LOVED this. It's written really well; I can actually see what;s happening. You also give the character depth, which is awesome. I feel like I know him! Also, I ...

I like it! However, it doesn't seem like a story anymore. You're kind of fitting in plot information, when it should go in by different means. Like what you did ...