IceCreamMan

I think that JK Rowlings writing has no where near as much depth as Tolkein's, which is why it is much more accessible to the average reader. Tolkein created an ...

Okay, I read it now. Thankyou for the spacing. I enjoyed the story very much. It was just the right pace in my opinion. More "show not tell" would be ...

I like it. A lot. There really isn't anything I can think of changing. It was short and sweet. Kinda reminded me of Emily Dickinson because of how short and ...

The rhythm here is good, but Holding hands with fate, Her touch becomes cold. here it went weird with 'her touch becomes cold' Maybe you should have it be Her ...

xanthan: I'm not sure what happened. I just reread this poem right now and you are correct, that part sounds terrrible. I wrote the poem while doing homework and didn't ...

EDITED

thanks Kiashana. I'm not going to be working on changing this anytime soon, since I already handed it in (got an A+!) and am busy with other homework. But this ...

to your first point: yea, it does stray from the main point. I thought it added to the story a bit though because it just adds more to show how ...

I know what your saying about it not being sci-fi, although I would have to disagree. It doesn't have aliens or other galaxies. Their not living on another planet. They ...

Thanks for the great feedback! Im not going to do any revision on this copy because I have a more revised one at school (but I lost the floppy I ...