Hippie

So It's looking now like these tattoos and powers are part of some sort of conspiracy, and they're sending people to keep watch disguised as nurses. Just thought I'd say, ...

This one had far less of those pesky believability issues, so well done on that part. You might find some of my points a little picky, but hopefully some of ...

Well the book I'm writing now was pretty much from imagination with lots of influence from other fantasy books, friends and movies. My plan for the next book started off ...

This is really funny

I'm finding this is beggining to drag, because the events aren't exactly reflecting the thing we readers are interested in - the curious marks. Nothing of any significance really happens ...

Can't think of any original powers off the top of my head. Just one thing is that it would be good if the powers are as much a burden as ...

It's alive!!! Anyway, this morning I put some dog biscuits in an empty berrocca canister and gave it to my dog, who spent ages trying to chew his way in. ...

This chapter introduces an interesting new element. As I understand, the vaccination has caused them to get these strange marks, and to attain various powers. What I'm still unsure of ...

Well, everyone's beat me to it, so I'll just point out 2 things before I get to the second chapter. 1. The girl and him hallucinated, and it seems as ...

As I understand, this male character has flaws, but the girl doesn't see them because she's too in love. So much so, that it would be out of character for ...

Well, as I warned I'm not a poet, so don't take my words for gospel. Now it was a nice subject, refreshingly light, and the rhyming sounded natural, so well ...

You actually submitted something! How unprecedented. What can I say? This is brilliant. The first line hooked me and the rest reeled me in. There were very few problems I ...

Your command of language is a force to be reckoned with. Your writing is extremely clear and well expressed, and there's not much I can help with really :xd: , ...

:wink: Well, let's start by saying that you've done well starting off with mystery. A lot of people either give too much away, or make it confusing by not giving ...

PM me when you get it up. I've sentenced myself to doing 3 critiques a week, so your story can be one of them.