Hippie

Yes I remember you - The awesome reviewer! Thanks for the critique. Looks like I don't have as much work to do on this one. That sounds about right because ...

Arthur trudged through the thick undergrowth, trailing closely behind Black. Soon after they had set out, the forest had become marshy, and now Arthur’s boots were sodden. His feet squelched ...

Hi there. I have to say I like the storyline here. It's the kind of fantasy that I like reading. At the moment the actual writing could be improved by ...

I would be very surprised if anyone had as much fun reading this as I did writing it (I was rolling on the floor for some of it). Sorry about ...

Alllllllllrighty then. This could do with some reworking. I'll get onto it as soon as I finish making some changes to chapter 1. And stop saying sorry Midnight. :D

Thank you Midnight, don't feel bad about being late. Dream helped me out in the meantime so I've been editing taking into account her advice. I'll be on holiday next ...

Welcome to Young Writers Society! I notice you have posted this without doing any reviews. The rules are that you must do 2 reviews to every story you post - ...

If you have a weak stomach don't read on. I wrote this for a workshop but we were only allowed to submit 2 pages, so I'm posting the rest here. ...

I was hoping to get revenge :twisted: but I couldn't find much wrong with this. I assume it's meant to be just an overview/prologue to give some background, so the ...

Well... I have gone hunting many times because I live in the country. We don't skin and eat anything though, and only hunt rabbits and foxes. Basically we shoot them, ...

Wow, amazing what other people can see. I hadn't noticed those plot holes, thanks for pointing them out. Sounds like I've got a lot to patch up. I foolishly edited ...

This chapter needed work, and that's what it got. Can anyone see anything else wrong with it? The crude wooden cross blurred as tears welled up in Arthur’s eyes. He ...

I've updated this. Please could someone give me a little constructive criticism this time.

Looks like you've got plenty to review today. Here's another one. I must have posted this one at a bad time, because it got pushed back to page 2 before ...

Here's chapter 2, better in my opinion than chapter 1, but obviously not without fault. Tear it apart and throw the remains in my face. Do whatever you like, as ...