Hippie

Gaea gunned the engine. The ground under the tires was still dry, and the car easily moved forward. Michael’s eyes followed the tire tracks leading away from their hiding spot ...

Sorry I was slow getting to this. My family and I went on a spur-of-the-moment holiday to Shark Bay. Marcus's mother came charging in to his room at eight in ...

Hello Authago. Welcome to the greatest online community there is! I thought you had some very good descriptions here, and I could feel the atmosphere you were portraying. Let me ...

I love how you're revealing more about controlled reincarnation. The idea of the person or animal leaving parts of its personality with the shaman is brilliant. The suspense is still ...

Great atmosphere. I like how you create an aura of mystery around the manikin. I was a little confused with your use of the word him . For example, you ...

The start is gripping in a way. Beginning with a swear word is unexpected and arouses curiosity. Good idea. I don't often say this, but I think this could work ...

It's an interesting start, but i think you've introduced too many characters too quickly. A couple of times I was getting Grace and Eliza mixed up, and I had to ...

What the other reviewers have said about nothing happening is true. However, because it is so short, it is easy to tolerate this. The main worry is if you go ...

The description is stunning where you have it. Perhaps bordering on purple prose, but it probably only seems that way because it's all lumped together at the start. I think ...

I'll say straight out that while I did think this chapter was good, it didn't live up to its potential as much as the others did. It is after all ...

“Michael,” a voice cried. “Michael!” It was strangely familiar. “For god’s sake Michael, snap out of it.” There was a loud screeching sound. Michael’s eyes jolted open. The policeman�

Great portrayal of Jack's fear. So he's got some sort of psychological disorder where he's scared of going outside. Then why did his brother ask him to come outside to ...

One thing that struck me was how the shopkeeper started trying to sell them romance novels the moment they walked in. Usually shopkeepers don't do that. If someone's in a ...

I presume LM Montgomery is a classical novelist. To be honest, I think you need to get rid of the old fashioned voice. There's a good reason that writing these ...

Alright. Firstly I'll say that I'm not a fan of breaking the fourth wall - i.e. when the narrator speaks to the reader and seems to have a personality. The ...