HaydenMacaw

Nice poem :) One critisism I frequently get from other people is that I get caught up in describing emotions, and don't have any context or tangible imagery. I think ...

The imagery is positivly splendid, as is your use of detail. My favorite part was The backs of your hands are bronze - the sun and I have kissed you ...

I like the jagged nature and lack of structure. It very acurately depicts the mindset of someone who is upset, so cootos there. Because your going with the whole stream ...

Absolutely stunning! The emotion expressed is excellent! I can feel the happiness--I love it :)

(edited) Unavailable is a beautiful word I am Unavailable My tongue curves around the word It makes me grin Softly, but uncontrollably I twirl and let my skirt flutter around ...

Where do the pictures come from? The ones that paint my skull When I look at a book The pages tear out Violently The wind breathes them in And the ...

Amazing! I loved the quick pacing--the whole poem had a great feel! I think the ryhme sceme was great. I loved the passage: So i blend with the crowd Of ...

First point, rhyme is fun but remember rhythm is just a important. The first two lines of the second stanza were excellent . They were similar yet dissimilar enough to ...

The tense transition between line 6 and 7 is a little rough, and I don't like the word repent. Other than that, exellent poem!

For a peice this short you use to many images too quickly. You use illness, wounded, scared, and tied down, all of which are a litle cliche. It would work ...

I think the subject matter is very powerful. The second and third line don't mesh very well--you create two seperate images to closely in conjunction. Also, unusual line break/punctuation can ...

I'm a runner and I totally know what your talking about :) I particularly relate to the first three lines of the last stanza. Those lines were perfect, but you ...

The contrast is done really well in this poem. I particularly love the line Limping lambs and a city of wolves though you may consider changing "and" to "in". I ...

I don't draw, so I'm not going to critique about anything tecnical. I absolutly love the expressions on the dragons. Both convey lots of emotion. The girl is very pretty, ...

There is a line A line of blue people Short shorts and tight shirts One by one they disappear Then there is just me I spring up and down I ...