HaydenMacaw

This poem is excellent, and very accessable. My main critique would be that, because the lines are so short, the ryhmes become a little overwhelming. Their is plenty of room ...

Thanks for all the great critiques! I took everything into consideration :D For future viewers, I have edited the poem above. Your imput is greatly appreciated!

*Edited version* I hate love poems Trite Overdone Too many Way too many I don’t like writing love poems I don’t write love poems It worked pretty well and I ...

I agree with all of the above comments. The line He ignores her cries. seemed unnessissarily repiticious. I like the idea of having one line alone to contrast against the ...

Is there any special signifigance in Nine? It is a possible avenue you could consider expanding on-- like one heart for freindship, one for love, one for selflessness, etc. I ...

The rhythm is perfect. The rhymes are all cleverly worded, it keeps the reader on their toes. I like the satiric overtones, mainly because it maintains that light upbeat feel ...

Cool poem. I think that the line Witness to what should never have been could be fixed if you change it to Witness to what never should have been or ...

I love the use of detail. I also like how you waited till the last stanza to connect back to "I". The last line didn't really feel like it fit. ...

The emotions evoked were great. I got the "mighty" vibe, but not "precise". It seemed like you kind of just threw that in at the end. Also I wasn't sure ...

This poem is absolutely seamless. Each line flows perfectly into the next. Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love the last two lines--amazing. I also like the line Like flightless wings flutter I also got the feeling of age/passge of time while I was reading it, which ...

I love the way the end ties in to the beggining--it's perfect. The ending is really powerful. The one comment I would make is that, while there is no problem ...

As stated by previous reviewers, the rythm is great. If you can condense You say I'm just stupid for thinking like this, I would, for purposes of flow. The couplets ...

Clever twist! If you wanted you could probably drag it out a little more, just to build up the tension. I wanted to hear more about the "friend". Also, the ...

The message is very touching. The use of couplets work perfectly for this poem. The title nicely emphasizes the indiviual, which is important in this knd of poem. Your voice ...