HarpoMarx

I like it. I think that it is an excellent piece of writing. But there are definitely a couple of errors that I found whilst reading. It's still alive. It ...

CHAPTER 2 when the horses where in the stable father and I walked across the training ground to the sound of a man shouting out the stroke patterns as the ...

It's good, but sad. But very good. Keep up the good work. I have said this on other stories that I have looked at: When you are editing think about ...

Good Work! Here are some things that I found: Part One: February 14, 2000 {Alyssa} He is so shallow. He stands there, holding a bouquet of roses and expects everything ...

Excellent work buddy! I thought it was good. Let me know how you went! Make sure you proof read it- I don't think it needs much but anyway. Make sure ...

Good, excellent. Although watch punctuation such as: “Arms dragged me out of the doors...people pulled me away, shouting. The police were there, the ambulance...I was taken over to an they ...

good. Just watch some punctuation. But over all I thought it was good. And don't be to hard on yourself (silly thing for me to say seeing as I push ...

The point of Tybalt's rapier was mere inches from Romeo's chest. Though I knew it was a vision of ghosts I could not stand and watch my love die by ...

It was a gloriously sunny day. Bright rays of sun shone from the heavens, illuminating the sky and the Earth. lowercase Bright green tree’s sparkled in the sun and stood ...

Its a good start, but it needs so much more description. "Listen Daniel as long as I am not around, Araina will be safe.” “Acayla , what are you saying?” ...

Okay its an excellent piece of writing. But I am a bit confused about who is who... What one is Miles- is he the reporter or is he the one ...

EXCELLENT WORK!!!!! very good. I think this is very good. Although I did notice that you wrote "Mean on the sidelines" I think it should have been "Men on the ...

good work. I really liked it. But i could see a few spelling mistakes. Also, grammatical errors, just watch for some bits you have put, "you'r" Just be sure to ...

It's agin good. But i was lost at the beggining as to who was telling the story. I was unclear at the beggining when: Maria hobbled from her straw bed, ...

Hey, I thought it was really good. I think that it's overall a good piece. Although i thought that you could improve in some sections, i think that what you ...