Hannah

Hi, Peanut! I'm here as requested and I'll follow you for the rest of April, too, okay? This first poem has a nice story behind it, but for being something ...

I could see them standing and looking to the ocean with their scarves and silks whipping in the wind and I wonder if they missed their homeland or if they ...

I can't understand it, and I think it's mostly because the first stanza threw me off by being incorrect? I can't follow the sentence. I guess I can't get it. ...

Yes, please, Kamas! Listen a little to Navita in your next poem. Try a story, maybe? Not prose, but a story that serves to connect the images so that they ...

It's so creepy and odd, but not lame.

#2 has lots of fun words, and several good images. "Genesis of citrus" is great. I'd suggest focusing less on the wordplay, tone down the verbosity maybe. Because viridescent doesn't ...

Hi, Kylan! April Second: we drop the bunches of grapes into the 5 gallon buckets, our boots sloshing with grapejuice, as a soldier's would slosh with blood. I feel like ...

(I knew it was slippery when I finished it, Helppants, so I'll try to fix that when I edit it. Kylan, I agree with all your comments and I really ...

Oooooh, gosh, I'm sitting here with my camera hanging around my neck and for that I wish you would have gone more into this poem. You hint at the people ...

he says he's afraid to get his hair cut because when the movies play and the heroes cut their hair, it means they're hiding or warping or dying. for the ...

Hey, Kamas. I like this chunk, but it's a little like a too-large piece of bread that tastes nice and spongy in my mouth but is probably going to choke ...

Oh, I really liked the comparison in the last stanza. It brought it all home, for me. The first stanza, however, read too much like a journal entry and was ...

Kylan, this poem was a mouthful for me. I will have to chew and digest it and come back to it again once it's broken down in my heart, but ...

The Awakening is a good novel. I like this poem and I can see it in my mind and feel her and her tiredness, but there are a few things ...

April 2nd, 2010; There are no bars here She sits in her room and knots her fingers and cracks her knitting, tangled in a blanket she vomited up herself, pouring ...