GryphonFledgling

Oooh, nice. It's amazing how much the drop of names can add so much meaning to a piece. If you had put in any other names in there, names that ...

Hey-oh! Ooh, a hero who shoplifts. Interesting. I wanna see how this all goes down. A few questions that popped up: Does he have a computer to deal with this ...

Hey-oh! I must say, your title really drew me in. I wanna know how the whole story comes down to that! Very nice hook. I agree a bit with kakagirl ...

*likedy like like* I kinda agree with Snoink that the killing comes the heck out of nowhere really suddenly. A month after what? The broken wrist? You stop at just ...

Hey-oh! I had a dream about whales last night. A sign? Also, if you look at the word "whale" long enough, it begins to look misspelled. 'Tis strange. All righty, ...

*like* *like* *like* *a million times like* A few tiny-small nitpicks: word colonel is I'd suggest putting "colonel" in quotes, since the speaker is talking about the word as a ...

This reminded me ever so much of Neverwhere . It's not the same genre and is it's own story entirely, but the general flavor of it felt rather Gaiman-esque. Me ...

Is... Is that it? Please tell me that there is more! *begs* Seriously, I really liked this. I've seen attempts (some of which were mine) at "whimsical" that just fall ...

Hey-oh! Review time! The Great Wall of Text It looks like it's YWS's fault more than yours, but the text is all jammed together in a big wall of text. ...

I'm a little confused as to why the first few paragraphs had dividers between them. If they were talking about different subjects, sure, but they all seem to be connected ...

I liked this. I liked the characters and I liked the setting. It all felt wonderfully fleshed out. The only problem I had with it was the ending. I mean, ...

Hey-oh! Grammar-wise, there were a few issues, but overall fairly solid. Yet I really couldn't get into the story at all. Characters This was the main issue. They feel so ...

Hello there and welcome to YWS! I'm GryphonFledgling and I'll be your reviewer today! Description Dump You kinda hit us hard with the description at the beginning of the chapter. ...

Hokay, first off, I agree with pretty much everything Stella said. I disagree in that I was seriously confused as to who the dog belonged to. I'm assuming that it ...

Alrighty now... First off, you need to space your paragraphs out a bit. As is, they were getting all clumped together and making this big blocks of text that were ...