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Re: Swan Song (4)
Yay for more of the Bastard Princess story! Seconding Jabs in that it sounds very mature here. I mean, the other part did too, but I noticed it more here, ...
May 24, 2011 -
Re: Grimoire Red: Rigorous Weekend
Well, hello there! I kind of liked your narrator's voice in this. Snarky and dry. It was quite at odds with the action scene going on and it was an ...
May 24, 2011 -
Re: Swan Song (3)
Whoa, this just went from like mildly bad to, like, really, really bad. Reading comments before me, people were mentioning that they wanted to see more emotion, more fear in ...
May 23, 2011 -
Re: Swan Song (2)
Erm... I just realized that I never got around to reviewing the other parts after the first. I don't know what happened there. *shame* But I'm here now, so more ...
May 23, 2011 -
Re: The Island of Queer
Ooh, I liked this. At first I was thinking this was a sort of Peter Pan-type scenario (really, I was thinking of the movie Hook ), but as soon as ...
May 23, 2011 -
Re: Face the wind
Ooh, this idea intrigues me. A few nitpicky things: The spacing of your punctuation seems to be wonky. I mean, there's like weird spaces all around a lot of words ...
May 23, 2011 -
Re: The Color Orange ~ Chapter 3
Ooh, the numbers return. To be important? Again, this seems sort of out of the blue. Maybe if she had wondered about the numbers earlier, or she sort of thought ...
May 22, 2011 -
Re: The Color Orange ~ Chapter 2
Hello again! "Better, but I got only one word: what. Speak in words. I see your thoughts coming in numbers.” Uh, why? Why does Pascale think in numbers? Is this ...
May 22, 2011 -
Re: Honor's Gauntlet (1.2)
Dude. Your dialogue. *swoons* For real, I did a whole lot of gushing in the last bit and it's going to carry on here. For real, I had like next ...
May 22, 2011 -
Re: The Color Orange~ Chapter 1
Hello hi! First off, really quick, I wanted to say that I loved the synopsis on your novel page. It was what made me want to read the story in ...
May 22, 2011 -
Re: Honor's Gauntlet (1.1)
Why, hello there! Wanted to read the second part, so I figured I'd read the first part first. *nod nod* Through the wall, the High Prince of Varneok, currently besieged ...
May 22, 2011 -
Re: The Grim-Keeper [4]
Dun dun duuuuuun... I'm hooked. I'm seriously hooked on this story. And I have to say it's all because of Marra. Sure, the plot is interesting too and I'd definitely ...
May 21, 2011 -
Re: Faith (Prologue)
'allo, 'allo! This was interesting. The gradual build up was very nice and I found myself on the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next. The ...
May 21, 2011 -
Re: The Grim-Keeper [3]
Light flooded my irises as soon as I opened my eyes This just feels unnecessarily wordy and purple-prosey to me. Can't you just say "I opened my eyes" or something? ...
May 20, 2011 -
Re: The Grim-Keeper [2]
Mmm, a bit confused, but not completely put off. I'm assuming this is her premonition? It seems different from the bit in the prologue. What exactly was the prologue, anyway? ...
May 20, 2011