GryphonFledgling

Hello hi! First off, really quick, I wanted to say that I loved the synopsis on your novel page. It was what made me want to read the story in ...

Why, hello there! Wanted to read the second part, so I figured I'd read the first part first. *nod nod* Through the wall, the High Prince of Varneok, currently besieged ...

Dun dun duuuuuun... I'm hooked. I'm seriously hooked on this story. And I have to say it's all because of Marra. Sure, the plot is interesting too and I'd definitely ...

'allo, 'allo! This was interesting. The gradual build up was very nice and I found myself on the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next. The ...

His hair had frozen in the first stages of thinning. Too far back for his age, too little gone to look really distinguished. Though it didn't matter because his hair ...

Astute observers will notice a new link in the top navigation menu. *is not an astute observer* Oh so very cool. Maybe I'll go... contest.

Light flooded my irises as soon as I opened my eyes This just feels unnecessarily wordy and purple-prosey to me. Can't you just say "I opened my eyes" or something? ...

Mmm, a bit confused, but not completely put off. I'm assuming this is her premonition? It seems different from the bit in the prologue. What exactly was the prologue, anyway? ...

Oooh, me likie. The attitude, the hook... Color me intrigued. I liked the first person here. Marra had attitude and snark, but she didn't seem to be mean-spirited. I loved ...

Well hello there! A'ight, this is going to sound incredibly nitpicky, but you really need to put names in here. I can understand putting placeholders into your story when you ...

Ooh, I like this. I keep seeing it as some sort of punk rock pop song or something. Lots of attitude, and of course, zombies! The rhyming scheme seemed a ...

Why, hello there! The love felt like lithium What does lithium feel like? You tore passed "Past". I liked this. It was quick and raw and I really think the ...

Hello hey hi! He had every reason to decline this offer , but his boss refused to let him turn down this chance-of-a-lifetime offer . Got the same word twice ...

This was really pretty, a sort of quick picture piece. The imagery was really pretty and while it got a little purple-prosey, it was short enough that I was able ...

Hooookay... Quite a bit of info-dumping here. I mean, it's like through the whole first half of the chapter, Shyla seems to have forgotten that she was hurt, her family ...