GryphonFledgling

This was definitely heartwrenching to read. You are able to pull emotion out of a hat and throw it at the reader. I feel like I got to know you ...

I avoid outlining when possible. I might write down one sentence about what I want the character to accomplish, but if I outline, I get frustrated when my story doesn't ...

"Stein on Writing" - by Sol Stein "Revision" - by Kit Reed I'm not much of one for buying books - more of a library girl myself - but these ...

Thanks for the tip. I know that it does go a little fast, but the monkey-mouse deal is not the one that is shady and mysterious... These fics are all ...

The dates at the top are the dates that I finished these pieces. I already have quite a few done. These are based off of a list of 100 one-word ...

11/16/07 001 – Beginnings “Lidlum, the break room is supposed to be for breaks.” Charles Lidlum looked up from the stack of folders before him. He smiled a little, pushing ...

Wow. This blew me away. You have a great style. Just a question: How did the man get a gun into the courtroom? I guess maybe because it is the ...

"She what I mean?" - I think you mean "see." "A familiar face cam into view" - came "They had to find you Tarina." - put a comma between "you" ...

I liked this. The language and descriptions are really attention-grabbing. "I could not afford, when restless, to purchase new things to conceal the monotony of life." I would cut the ...

I liked the song in the beginning. It was definitely my favorite part. However, I would put it (and the "la la la la") all in quotation marks or perhaps ...

He sat on the edge of his seat, as if ready to rise at a moment’s notice; his legs not even under the table, but pointed out to the side ...

Whoa! *double take* That was weird! We went from rebellious teen mutant to a subservient mutant whose foster brother's best friend is a high ranking official in her cult. *stares ...

I noticed that you misuse the word "where" when you actually mean "were." "We were never supposed to go there." "Where is the remote?" See the difference? First line after ...

Rubric pretty much pointed out all of the grammatical errors that I noticed. The second sentence seems almost unnecessary. You could delete it and the story would feel no ill ...