GryphonFledgling

It depends on the kind of music. I can't listen to music with no lyrics when I am writing for some reason. It just doesn't work for me. But when ...

My favorite would be one with intriguing characters. I think I could read anything, no matter how bad the storyline, if I really loved the characters. Likewise, even if the ...

You have what appears to be an interesting beginning. However, for all your descriptions, you don't really have any story here. Tell us why this group has come here. Show ...

This was interesting. I don't see many present-tense pieces that I like, but you wrote this so well that I didn't even notice that it was present-tense until I read ...

12/12/07 088 – School The little boy couldn’t have been more than seven. He was a cute little guy; with cheeks just plump enough to be cute without being babyish ...

10/10 I love the design. It's so dainty.

You do tell more than you show, as Valor pointed out. Instead of even showing it the way she suggested, perhaps you could actually take us through Severis's (answer honestly: ...

Okay, first of all, I'm going to say that you have an interesting beginning here. I want to know what has brought the character to this. In that respect, you ...

This was really vague. Your language was pretty, but I didn't really know what you were talking about. A guy lost his girlfriend? Was she crazy and he was disillusioned? ...

10/10 Awww... Ickle kitty in disguise... Very cute and funny. Makes you just want to *squeeze* it.

give a reason for every attribute they have I love this. It had become my new favorite tip... *confetti* watch people, it will make your characters stronger Nope, never mind. ...

Always method B for me... Readers are always a bit smarter than you think they are, or alternatively, they are stupider than you give them credit for. Confusing? You betcha. ...

I think your descriptions of the two men were just fine, since it sets them in contrast. I loved the way you talked about their timing and so on and ...

Hello there... This was intriguing. Chocolate? Need? *scurries off to find chocolate* *back* No seriously, this was actually almost comical in its own way. He is so desperate. Anyway, everyone ...

I agree with Muse. The first stanza had a great rhyme scheme going there, but come second stanza, it all goes up in smoke. Oh no, metaphors? Umm... Subtle? Ugh... ...