GryphonFledgling

I'm not a poetry critic, so no help there, but I will say that I loved this. It was so lilting and the sentiment was so clear. I got the ...

I really liked the vague sense of it. It was an interesting style and it drew me in quickly. It did seem a little like rambling, but that was just ...

This was an interesting beginning, but in a way, I really didn't care about the characters.They need to be fleshed out more. Tell us more about Krista other than that ...

Hmm, I don't know what happened the first time I tried to post this... I thought I'd mention to potential readers that these stories do not have to be read ...

This is an interesting beginning. You could flesh it out a bit more, as Saint pointed out, but you have an intriguing idea. Why did Ivan have to kill Alex? ...

This was a good start, but you might want to add what the rivalry between these two is. Why are they fighting? How did Teslarhi confront the king? There is ...

This was so strange. I liked it a lot, but it was strange. Reading over your comment, when you talk about 'before' being before she met him, you might want ...

This was fabulous. Seriously. Your choppy style was fantastic for a cat, or for any kind of animal. It was so simplistic and easy to follow, but yet mature and ...

When humanitiy is no longer humane "humanitiy" = "humanity" Man's essential illness Making the minds of the world a big mess. These two lines don't appear to relate to the ...

This was an engaging read and quite fabulously written. Squallz caught everything that I noticed, so I won't bother repeating what has already been said. Now for praise. Your descriptions ...

This was beautiful, but very short. Also, I don't think it belongs in lyric poetry. It doesn't seem to have any particular rhythm and is not organized in poetry format. ...

You mention the mother's pantleg in the picture, then you talk about the horse and carriage. I echo everyone else in that I have no idea what time period this ...

This was an intriguing first chapter. You use description very well. However, in the first few paragraphs, you describe pain, but not the causer of it. In all honesty, my ...

This was so clever. I always hated the evil stepmother stereotype and you do a smashing job of murdering it. The only complaint I had was at first, you talk ...

*dies laughing* This was just so frickin' funny. It was definitely riddled with writing errors, like scene changes and junk, but it was irrelevant to the story. Hey, rules were ...