GryphonFledgling

Intriguing beginning! My only critique is that it is unlikely that a servant would voice displeasure with his master unless the two were very close. And you don't give us ...

:) I liked the ending. It was rather witty. It was interesting having a battle of wits. Not that either of them were incredibly witty. Meh, I have to say ...

Wow... Stopped by your profile and clicked... Wow... It was intense. I was confused for a great deal of it. I wasn't really sure what was going on, but the ...

Is this the beginning to a larger story? I'm a little confused as to what the title has to do with anything else. You have a bunch of HTML tags ...

The fumes escape out the butt, *sniggers* That's a pretty funny line and just sounds so frustrated. However, it doesn't quite seem to flow with the rest of the stanza. ...

Welcome to YWS! Good luck with getting published! It is a fond dream of mine, as well as everyone else here on YWS, I think. I've already read some of ...

Looks like everyone else has covered helping you, so I'll just follow them up waving a "Welcome" banner. *waves the banner* Jump right in and get active! Leave some reviews! ...

Welcome to YWS! Wow. O.O You have only been here about 10 days and I have seen you everywhere... Congrats on being active so soon! Enthusiasm is great! I hope ...

*confetti* Yay! New member! Welcome to YWS! I'll echo everyone else in welcoming you to PM me. Community is great here. I'm a relative newbie, but I feel so at ...

Welcome to YWS! Repeating that I am not going to repeat anything (hmmm... contradictory, that is) that has already been said. If you have any questions, ask. I am a ...

Welcome back to YWS, wraithfound! I guess I'm a newbie compared to you, but I'm saying hi anyway. Hi! ~GryphonFledgling

Poor Nate. *shakes head* This was funny, but not as well written as the last one. There were a lot of typos that I don't really have time to point ...

I like the first three paragraphs and how you immediately set up the different goals. It makes it funny from the very beginning. One thing that I would suggest, however, ...

There were quotation marks... Just not around the thoughts... Awwwwww.... That was my first reaction to this story. It is definitely rather fluffy, but those are always good to read ...

Hunter's expression is the best thing in the picture. Just that utter confusion and distress. Fabulous... ~GryphonFledgling