GryphonFledgling

Hey, another homeschooler! I currently go to a private school (this is my junior year in highschool - I was also in school 10th grade) but for the rest of ...

Nice work. I liked the rhythm to this. It was just so steady and determined. Great, great work. The rhyming was good too. It really didn't feel forced like rhyming ...

Wow, you're doing an awesome job of writing a girl. She really sounds like a girl. She's writing about the stuff that a girl would write about and she's getting ...

Nice poem. I have to agree with those above me that it felt a little lacking. But what you did have in there was really great. I liked the rhythm ...

I dunno... I'm not a poetry critic and I will admit it right now so that no one blasts me for not knowing what I am talking about, but I ...

I remember what it used to be like, before my world fell apart. They're not all filled with mystery and intrigue like TV and the movies would have you believe. ...

I can't say as I cared for this. I really didn't get anything out of it. Who is the main character? At first it appears to be the woman, but ...

I'm going to echo everyone in saying that this was a bit cliche, but I did like it. "You will die" was a little out of context, it seemed, with ...

ok! So this is the first chapter and a bit of Ice Cubes, for those of you that remember it - it's very different now, and it still needs a ...

Not much can be said of a crush that I have. It comes and it goes, but it (took away the capital 'I') should be known. True feelings can confuse, ...

I wasn't so sure about the rhythm. It worked sometimes and at others it didn't . Your rhymes seemed a little forced sometimes, but overall, I did like the poem. ...

I liked it. It is a little choppy, but it works. Any longer and it might have gotten irritating, but you kept it right at the length to tell the ...

As I (capitalized it) touched his frozen lips And shivered at the icy fingertips , (comma) I tried not to let out a scream When I (again] realized it wasn't ...

Go vomit writing! I sit down with my journal and whine about having nothing to write. Sooner or later I will think of something that makes me mad or something ...

Hmmm... Interesting beginning. You don't really learn much about the characters in this, however. You can take your time, make it longer, and flesh them out. It would make the ...