GryphonFledgling

The first stanza is significantly longer than the rest of them. 8 : 4 I think perhaps you didn't hit 'enter' between the first two stanzas. This was simple. It ...

This has just a great feeling to it. I felt like I had stepped into a myth or fairy tale. The rhythm was wonderful. It just flowed so well. Nice, ...

The rhythm was a little odd in this poem. I really couldn't find a way to make it work in my head. The rhyming was cool, but the rhythm was ...

I really liked the use of the term "dear Sir." It just felt so quaint and sweet, like this person is really playful and totally infatuated with this person. Loved ...

I really liked this. Well, to jump in on the debate that seems to have begun: I don't think that it was cliche. And please do use capitals. BBB's edited ...

Saint caught the grammatical errors, so I won't repeat. Wow. This was great. I was seriously confused about halfway through, but I stuck it through. Then the twist at the ...

Daaang. This was amazing. Your first sentence, which is almost a disclaimer, drew me in. This was a bit of an info-dump, but since it is the beginning, I think ...

A voice that sounded very much like her father’s urged s he quickly to use the unconscious man as a shield while she finished off the boar. Another, much like ...

Detectspie Nathan Fondue yawned. What is that word at the beginning? *is confused* These days were very special to Nathan, and he circled each one on his calendar. What days? ...

Amen! Go Jesus, you know it! I liked this poem. It was really simple, but it was loving and really expressed your want and thanks to God. Really have nothing ...

It's been another late night at school . (period) D ark is already flooding the world at five o ' (apostrophe) clock. Detention is finally loosing its grip on me ...

I liked the remote control metaphor, but it really doesn't fit into the rest of the poem. It would be great if you incorporated it into the poem more, having ...

Yazra tucked her new journal into a pocket hidden in the many folds of her multiple shirts and stood, pushing back the thick, wild, brown curls that framed her thin ...

Well, it looks like everyone else has beaten me to critiquing. Phooey... Anyway, I liked this. It was quite a bit of telling versus showing and you could use a ...

Smoothly do they glide , Smoothly do they set . The stars upon them twinkle ; Infinitely set Dragging forth from wonder Inspirations own true mind- The dreams of thousands ...