GryphonFledgling

Ooh, I liked this, mainly because of the tone of Isla's narration. It clipped along and was interesting. I want to see what happens next! But then again, our relationship ...

Is this about zombies? Because it seems like it's about zombies. Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, I love it. I just want to be sure. I ...

Hey-oh! Haven't read the original, so I'll just go on what I have here, mmkay? I liked this. It was sweet and rambly and sad. But I liked the voice ...

Soul protectors just can’t have more than one child. I was three when you were born. They brought you home, I saw you once, and then I was sent to ...

Plowing onward! He came over to me, just a foot or two away, and reached out to grab my hand. Whoa, no asking permission first? I mean, she only just ...

Whoop, spacing's a little wonky here too. Goes from blocky to spaced out correctly to blocky again. Fix? or ate each other, which I thought was disgusting We think it's ...

Yay for more detailed notes! Also: review points/count! *evil cackle* Consider this in addition to the PM I sent you. I sighed and pushed myself off the wall, not wanting ...

Hey-oh! Here to read more after your wonderful intro-- Waugh! Wall of text! *eyes bleed* This is a minor thing, but it's really important: make sure your spacing carries through ...

Ooooh, color me intrigued. A putrid disgust of bleh. Erm, this makes no sense. I get the gist of what you mean and I love the idea of using "bleh" ...

Little mouthfuls of birds open You're referring to the birds' mouths here, but as written now, it sounds like there are folks somewhere with birds inside their mouths and are ...

they know how to get a hold of me . I knew it.

*glomps* However, when there was no light, he appeared dark and menacing and only his purple eyes flashed... Okay, so it's nitpicky, but this actually confused me for a minute. ...

He'd never fainted before in his life. Aside from having been cursed, which he didn't remember in the first place, nothing all that faint-worthy had ever happened to Hin. He ...

Well, hello there! Mmm, I liked the style here. Feels very classical and fits the story quite well. Nice. And you manage to pull it off without getting excessively word, ...

Waugh! *flail* Huge wall of text! Eyes bleeding! *ahem* Yeah, this was immediately hard to read just because of the formatting. It's a really small thing, but it's really important, ...