GryphonFledgling

Wow. This was amazing. I loved the irreverent tone throughout the entire poem. It conjured up such a vivid image of the speaker. I really have nothing more to say. ...

Really nice job. I'm not sure what the subject matter is, I will admit, but you have great imagery here. The one part I didn't understand/really much care for was ...

Ooh, I liked this. I loved the ending. Up near the top, "Things are quite now..." quite = quiet. Looks like you were typing a bit fast. Anyway, I really ...

This was nice. It was original and clever, but it's rhythm could use a little improvement. I really couldn't find any reason to it. Also, your rhyme scheme was a ...

A couple times here, you use "you're" (ex. "... you're parents dealing drugs from the window of y ou're new car...") when you really mean "your." Your - It belongs ...

The people above me all have great critique, so I won't bother repeating their words... This was a really interesting poem. I really haven't seen this kind of thing since ...

I'm not sure what is going on here, but it strikes me as how a person must feel when being taken over by an agent in the Matrix. Weird, I ...

12/17/07 015 – Green Everything was green through their goggles, even blood. Thompson had been shot and he was bleeding on the sand. The squad had found a nest of ...

Is this going to be continued? I'm confused as to what this story is actually about. Is it about the couple or the man and his pregnant wife? What was ...

This was really powerful. I loved the way he was praying while trying to kill himself. It was so tragic. One thing to make this easier to read might be ...

I really can't critique the song, so I follow in other's footsteps there... However, I can say that I really liked it. I loved all of the animal imagery, especially ...

You have a bit of an info-dump there in the beginning when you are recalling her past. Maybe instead of just telling us, you could show us with a flashback. ...

This was interesting. It was very vague and it could use a little more fleshing out, but it was interesting. I liked how you were setting up the character. But ...

Alainna caught the errors I was going to point out... This read a littlw awkwardly, the way you jumped from storm to flashback/info-dump to storm. Perhaps if you got her ...

Well, Saint caught the crits I was going to point out, so I won't bother repeating. This was great. Before you even mentioned names, I was thinking "Hey, this reminds ...