GryphonFledgling

Oooohhh.... Feedback Questions 1) What do you think of Judge Esten? Does she seem like a realistic character? I really liked her. She is a great character. 2) Do you ...

I liked this. The language of it just drew me in. It was quite like reading Jane Austin... One thing that did confuse me a bit was the change in ...

Wow. Very nice piece. I'm not generally into the emo/slasher type story, but you actually made me care about this character. I can't put my finger on exactly what drew ...

The grammar errors have already been caught, those pesky little devils... So I will continue with other story critiques. This was essentially a big info-dump in all honesty. You tell ...

Yes please, a proofread... Also, when you do dialogue, each new person speaking should have their dialogue in a new paragraph: (ex. Bobby and Sue ran towards the train tracks. ...

Very interesting. I've never read anything quite like this. I agree with Lucky that the part where Dimitri starts talking about being trapped is odd. It just doesn't really work ...

Nice job. However, I really must stress the need for capitalization and punctuation in this poem. I am still your little girl but I am growing older I am still ...

Great job and a nice follow-up to your first chapter! I liked how Gabriel has financial trouble. I'm not sure why, but that endears me to him, that he would ...

I liked this. Your descriptions and language were great. One thing: when you have the viewpoint of the pilot, you should set it off somehow, perhaps with line breaks (ex. ...

I was a little confused past the first four lines. It looked like it was going one direction but then it did a complete 180 and went the other way. ...

12/17/07 021 – Friends They thought that we were stupid, and we played along. They thought that I was dumbly following the Mass, not really understanding, and I let them ...

I wish I had some kind of writing ritual. It would make me sound like a mysterious author or something to people who don't know me... However, I must admit ...

Welcome to YWS! How do you find spare time at all? You sound like you're a bit busy all the time... But anyway, jump right in and get active! Review ...

Hey and welcome to YWS! French? Awesome! I'd love to read some of your works! Jump right in and get active. But be prepared to be addicted... I wasn't and ...

Hey Caroline and welcome to YWS! Be prepared to be addicted, because there is no way to avoid it... Jump right in and get active! I look forward to seeing ...