GryphonFledgling

Hmmm, interesting examples. This article seemed a little lacking. Why not explain the dangers of the "Deus Ex Machina"? Talk about why it is not exactly a good idea to ...

8/10 It's really pretty, but what exactly does it mean?

Interesting beginning. However, it was a little hard to read because of most of it being bunched together into a gigantic lump of words. Is that all supposed to be ...

Hm... What time period is this supposed to be written in? It just seems that Jacki is a quite modern name and from the horses and torch and so on ...

*smiles and nods benignly* You frighten me Mark. Sometimes you really do. An entire religion devoted to Milkman? I love Milkman as much as anyone, but you know that Postman ...

Hmm... Fight scenes... Don't worry about outlining each and every hit that lands. Go ahead and skip over some things if they are just sucker punching each other. Talk about ...

((Anne of Green Gables loves that poem, doesn't she?)) 7/10 It's really pretty but is really small, fuzzy and the words are hard to read...

Username: 90% - It's kind of cliche (dark, brooding... etc.) in English, but since you have it in Latin, it improves... Custom Title: __ - Soon, very soon... No worries... ...

Welcome to YWS! Do you have any particular genre that you like to read? I'm going to echo everyone in recommending you read the guides and FAQ, as they answer ...

Hey, welcome to YWS! And now that we have you, we will never let you go! *evil laugh* No, I'm just kidding. I enjoy writing contemporary fiction, but I don't ...

*picks self up from floor* *wipes tears away from laughing* This was quite the amusing piece. I feel bad, because I have no critisicm, only barely contained laughter. Very nice ...

I agree with Rieda that you could have had more by way of your lines. They were so serious and somber, while the Lord's Prayer was a little more sarcastic ...

1/3/08 078 – Where? “Here?” A pointer slapped at a digital map. “No, sir. We’ve been over that area a hundred times.” “How about here?” The curly coif shook. “No, ...

Ah, my eeeeyes! I would really suggest breaking this into seperate paragraphs, with an extra 'enter' space in between each paragraph. As is, the thing is written in a huge ...

Yes, very, very short. If it is this short, are you sure that your story needs a prologue at all? I mean, we didn't get very much information at all ...