Griffinkeeper

I'm game. Any plot that is created will happen after people post profiles. If all the characters are astronauts, then we'll probably do something in space. If all the characters ...

Post profiles.

I was hoping to demonstrate how bad info-dumping really is. Most info-dumping is irrelevant to the story and only takes away from the action. The pointless padding was intentional; the ...

Marlon Grey rushed after his assailant down the streets of the city. The assailant turned a corner and Marlon followed, only to find that the assailant had disappeared. He turned ...

Name: Tarragon Masher Age: 32 Gender: Male Role/Affiliation: PeaceKeeper General Appearance/Picture: Personality: The general is notorious for his patience and cleverness. He knows people and how to h

Things were going well, if the lady on his arm was any indication. The acting lessons were paying off handsomely. He was sure that he wouldn't see Callista again, but ...

Welcome to YWS! Don't be embarrassed about old work; they are a good way of measuring just how far we've come. No one just starts writing well, it takes plenty ...

Hi there. It's hard to give an impression on the piece, because it is so badly formatted. It is hard to read because there are no paragraphs. You'll also want ...

I rather like this. Let's see if we can clean it up a little. "Just..pretend." Ellipses have three dots, not two. Without that extra dot, it creates an odd timing. ...

Marlon's orders had changed. They were being pulled from the walls to escort General Tathiel around. Marlon was surprised that he had come to Acoteg in the first place. The ...

I like the concept of the poem, but sometimes the flow is off. First Stanza I’m shit at keeping secrets So they never stay discrete Leave me be; don’t ask ...

I like your enthusiasm! Writing for an older character is a challenge and I'm glad to see that your adventurous with it. There are some major points which hinder the ...

Welcome to YWS! Your poem has plenty of room for improvement and with a little more care, I'm sure you could turn it around. Suzanne mentioned proper grammar and spelling. ...

1326 Hours April 5th, 25 AS French Carrier Aigle YWS Station The view screens displayed only static. "Report!" the Captain ordered. "Sir, the sensors are reading this as a solar ...

A lot had happened to Marlon in a short period of time. He had barely started peeling potatoes before Emilian took him to his new team. He had gone from ...