Griffinkeeper

I didn't use dialogue, mostly because it didn't quite fit in my plans. The focus was on the boy, who was trying to be found. No dialogue there. Admittedly, I ...

Very nice clarinet. I love the lighting. The only thing I could fault you on is not having it in color. Good job!

Sohini, were here to help, not berate. Please edit your post to give Karma advice on how to improve or I will report you to the admins. Tough critiques is ...

Insert paragraphs to make it easier to read. Leave space between the lines of dialogue and between paragraphs. Really, I don't get how you expect anyone to sit down and ...

Could we call you undecided Torpid? Really, what did you like, what didn't you like. More than likely, Snoink wants help on the writing aspect, not so much your reaction ...

Instead of reading fiction, it would be better if you focus on non-fiction. Mien Kamph will provide you better insight into the mind of a dictator then any fan-fiction. Or, ...

(Guys, I implore you to write more substantial posts. The way I see it is this: the more you write, the more control you have over the story. This doesn't ...

I'd change the setting, I like the idea of the tasks, but I don't like the idea of the school. Then again, I may or may not write here.

Fibonacci numbers? Everything you ever cared to know is here!

The beginning is a little confusing. Maybe something a little more chatty? I love how you tied in the joke in the story with the ending. It looks like a ...

(Hopefully Zel, you didn't confuse my gryphon for a hawk. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt though...) Tiren had crawled towards in the direction the compass gave him, ...

(Sounds kind of like Maxwell actually, except they still think that nobody can perform magic except for those with magical blood. Since Maxwell is kind of boring to write for ...

Looks good!

Kind of random. It is lacking in purpose, which is saddening for a piece of satire. When you're using stories like this, it is best to have a moral attached ...

*Begins eating cookies at a frantic rate, before stopping, horrified.* Got Milk?