Griffinkeeper

I can't say I approve of the thrown in "hey, my character's a demon" plot twist, but other than that I found this piece pretty tolerable. "Times up" should be ...

Arabian Nights is a marvelous piece of storytelling. Highly recommended. Online here.

This is a very erotic description of playing a clarinet. It makes me wonder what exactly it is that you do in your room during those long "practice" sessions. On ...

Insane? Well, compared to the math coming out of high schools, this is true. My experience is that most students coming out of high school are underprepared for math. So ...

I think I'll stay outta this one for now, I wanna watch and see how this plays out... A wise move. With all due respect Khayriyyah, mentioning God and vengeance ...

The Warthogs flew off the side of the highway. Grif saw a mech perpendicular to them, and in a smooth movement, he turned the turret towards the mech and fired. ...

Changed to fit Snoink's critique. Don't worry Crysi, I'm working on ways to add more people. I wanted to start small, so I didn't have to juggle so many people.

The Warthogs weren't all the same. The first one was mounted with a gauss gun, while the second one was mounted with a gattling gun. Six Warthogs in all. Phoenix ...

"At ease Jensen." "But Sarge-" "Damn it Jensen, haven't you seen the SPEW Commandos before? Did the flood rip out your mind and your ears!?" " Sergeant Johnson! We're glad ...

As the laser focused on Grif's head, the ground suddenly shook. "The Daishi is coming to make friends!" Areida said. "Daishi? Oh crap," the Elemental said. The Daishi came into ...

Agree. Especially when it autoloads the next puzzle. What would otherwise be productive hours turn into Sudoku.

Describe the the five senses of it, and then describe how the character feels more than just - it was starting to drive her nuts. Her anxiety, her annoyance, her ...

Introduction? How about a character bio? Don't put this into a novel like it is now: it would be straight info dumping. There are better ways (through dialogue for instance) ...

Congrats!

And I'll ignore you, since you haven't really said anything. Translation: "I'M NOT LISTENING I'M NOT LISTENING!" You can't win a debate like that. In this case, Incan wins because ...