Griffinkeeper

Like all beginnings, the first paragraph is critical. I knew it was a mistake from the moment he dragged me into it all. The prank was supposed to be just ...

Nicely done. You've come a long way since you first submitted stuff here. Some of the descriptions seem a little too dramatic. Mind you, not overbearingly so, but there are ...

“Call her doctor john!” Mother commanded over my blood curdling shrieks. I don't think calling her "Doctor John" would help much. I cried out in agonizing pain. Weak. Don't use ...

“….are you saying that I’m troublesome?” Ellipses have only three dots, not four. “…well…” Buuchi said, as he looked towards me for a moment. Put ellipses on one side or ...

I couldn't get into it. You took too long. You need a hook and badly. Instead of having the character moan about how he was fated to some destiny on ...

I think you infodumped a little too much, describing what the family did and who they were related too. I think it should be told seperately from the action, if ...

The big issue here, of course, is that they have the potential to become people. But, in my view, the potential to become a person does not justify the likely ...

Aedomir still felt angry, and missed his companions dearly. But the comfort of Seridon slowly grew, and he felt he could speak with him more and break the solitude. But ...

But that Zygote isn't even attached to her, it is another living thing. Um, before being born, the child is attached to the mother for the vast majority of the ...

I am saying that sex's main purpose should be the want for a child, and sex where you don't want a child should not be a nightly pratice. Do you ...

Captain Planet is no longer available. However, I know one person that can fill his shoes. Some say grass grows whenever he wiggles his ears and that he is capable ...

You’ve decided that life begins at conception, but why have you decided this? On what grounds do you argue that life begins at conception. Personally, I disagree with this line ...

1. It's supposed to be children's books. And it's witchcraft. Aren't you supposed to let children read books that you get nice lessons and morals and not books about witchcraft? ...

If Britain ever tried to regain it's old empire, I doubt many countries would put up with it, lol. Like America or India? :p America, the EU, and China are ...

I can't stand the HP books personally. I detest them and for several reasons. 1. The writing style irritates me. I get the urge to go through them with a ...