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Re: Trick-or-treat
Um OK. seeing as you comment on my stories i thought i would comment on yours! this could be a good piece of writing, but you use certain words too ...
Nov 9, 2008 -
Re: Yes, What a Delightful Boy (1)
oh my god, i already hate Locke! hes so mean! Why is he mean? I bet that the characters end up going out please write more, and PM me when ...
Nov 5, 2008 -
Re: The Triangle Effect
OK No offence but this was boring. Nothing exciting happened. It was just a really simple conversation between a couple of friends and I don't even get why this girl ...
Nov 5, 2008 -
Re: A Vampire Story CH.1
i think you need to back up your story with something more reliable. Blood tablets? sorry but that doesn't seem very interesting! The whole point of being a vampire is ...
Nov 4, 2008 -
Re: L'ange Noir (The Black Angel) part 1
this could be a good story but to me it seems that everything is happening too fast i mean, the readers only just found out that there's this amazing girl ...
Nov 4, 2008 -
Re: Eleven Days In Hell #7
well this one was good like the others! write more and let me know when you do please! the only thing I didn't understand was the bit about his father. ...
Nov 3, 2008 -
Re: Eleven Days in Hell #6
i love the fact that arnold is going mad! the alarm clock was a good touch- talking to the furniture! i think you could have added more detail about the ...
Nov 2, 2008 -
Re: Eleven Days In Hell #3
this was good-there was a lot of action! i liked the way you described the bomb exploding but I was a bit confused by the bomb. I thought Arnold had ...
Nov 2, 2008 -
Re: Happy Halloween...
OK, A few comments about this. First of all-SLOW DOWN! A story like this is meant to be exciting and tense, maybe make you slightly scared because of all the ...
Oct 28, 2008 -
Re: Life is Death
wowweee! didn't know you wrote poetry! (i can tell this is your work though because its so morbid) But i really like this! although i do think the line 'All ...
Oct 27, 2008 -
Re: The Vampires Kiss (Chapter 3 Revised)
This is longer, which is good, but I think you are rushing things in the story a bit. When i wrote my first piece all comments said that I needed ...
Oct 26, 2008 -
Re: The Vampires Kiss (Chapter 1)
Ok, this was interesting! A bit short, but I'll read the next chapters! There were a few spelling/grammer mistakes but not many. And how did you think up the name ...
Oct 26, 2008 -
Re: I l-o-v-e y-o-u {EDITED}
If i offend you with my comment, then sorry because i don't mean to! This was OK- I liked the bit about how Ella couldn't see and Barry couldn't speak, ...
Oct 26, 2008 -
Re: The Mask Maker [3]
this is really good, very exciting! A few spelling mistakes buts that it as far as nitpicking goes! i haven't read the pieces before yet because I started reading this ...
Oct 20, 2008 -
Re: The Outcast
Hey! Well, I saw this earlier, and now I can see that you've changed it a bit, which is good. But even though I'm your friend, I'm afraid that I'm ...
Sep 8, 2008
