GarrettJTurin

Thanks, i'm taking JohnLocke1's advice and changing it up a bit. I will have a better version out soon. Only 9 days till i'm 14!

Hmmm, good idea. Should I still explain Ralkin later in the chapter?

Sorry, double post.

How would you suggest I fix the first few paragraphs so that they don't reveal important plot detail?

How would you suggest I fix the first few paragraphs so that they don't reveal important plot detail?

I should have mentioned that when I type in italics, that means the character is thinking to themselves. Also, i'm surprised that I misspelled Sight. Thanks so much for your ...

Hey, thanks for replying! I have read it to myself several times and I know what you mean by the dialogue seeming planned, i'll have to change that up. I ...