-
Re: In His Box
Trapped in a box that I put myself in Fighting for a life that I truly want to end in and end dont rhyme, if that's what you were going ...
Sep 25, 2008 -
Re: When dawn arrives
Prologue “His blood pressures dropping, Doctor.” The responsibility for the patient was fully in Kate’s hands. New anxiety welled up in her. She didn’t need this. She’d had more that ...
Sep 25, 2008 -
Re: Frozen lakes and sugar cakes
Frozen lakes and sugar cakes Daffodils and paint spills Computer screens and fairy dreams First loves and silver doves... paint spills doesnt really work here, because it implies randomness and ...
Sep 25, 2008 -
Re: Short poem: Door to heaven
As he huffed far away, From his bill, on the head man's hill, He stretched his limbs, and looked around. his bill? what does that mean? stretched his limbs and ...
Sep 24, 2008 -
Re: My Frozen Blood
Prologue The air hung with the fumes that poured from the factories. A dark world surrounded the people who hurried through the freezing city streets. first sentence is great, second ...
Sep 24, 2008 -
Re: 'Kemia
I know where you are. if this is a love poem (which i already suspect it is) then your first line is a real disappointment because it makes it seem ...
Sep 24, 2008 -
Re: like any other mother would
two whole years good, i like how you split it into each line to make emphasis. it sounds like she's saying each word heavily you didn't ring me every night ...
Sep 24, 2008 -
Re: Sun and the Moon
I am the Sun And you are the Moon. I only see you rarely, But hope to see you soon. boring. no offense, but telling me that you're the sun ...
Sep 24, 2008
