Frenchchilla

"The tall girl reading over Haylin, the African American girls, shoulder slowly shook her head." This doesn't make sense to me. if you meant to put ' instead of a ...

writer 4 all my life: I liked it but it needs punctuation, but I didnt like the flow maybe you could add rhythm or rhyme and maybe you could put ...

I liked it. It really got the point across, but I think that you could have tried to break up the line at better point to make them shorter but ...