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Re: Establishing Image
I LOVE IT!! Now I have a very good idea what the school should be like. But, I don't know. Maybe mine would have just a little more freedom. I ...
Oct 6, 2011 -
Re: Happy Memories
Hey, Your writing is good. A little crude at times, but that only shocked me because it started off so different. I don't have a problem with it. The voice ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: Prologue to a story i'm calling sub-zero
Hey, I have to say, it sounds like it could be an interesting story. There are some grammar mistakes though, even though I know it is only a prologue. Only ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: Barely 18
Hello, I'm not really into poems and whatnot, but I thought "Why not?" when I saw the heading. I did enjoy reading it too, so I'm glad I took the ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: Listen
First off... I like it :) I'm not really into poetry but I think you just changed my mind. For this piece anyway. You don't give too much away, which ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: Walls
Hello, I felt that the poem didn't really... flow? It felt a bit forced. Or something along those lines. The part that really caught my attention and when my interest ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: The Killing of the King
Hello, I wouldn't exactly say that I liked it, but mainly thats just the content. It doesn't appeal to my preferences but I'm sure others would love it. You show ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: Lone wolf
Hello, Your writing is fairly good. But the dialog part of it, does indeed sound very childish. Not very sophisticated and doesn't really fit in with the story. Maybe you ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: Mindless fluff.
Hey, For someone with dyslexia, you did pretty well in my opinion. Sure, maybe some touch ups here and there could make it really really good. But as you said, ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: The beginning of the end
Hello, You really do give definition to the phrase "short but sweet". I liked it, the way it portrayed her emotions, it is really evident. Maybe there could have been ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: Forbidden
Hello, To tell the truth, I didn't really understand that concept of the story until I read other peoples comments. But now that I have I sort of get the ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: Folded Up
Hello, For the most part, I really did enjoy your writing. It was hard to understand at first, I had no clue what it was about but after a couple ...
Oct 5, 2011
