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Re: Too Much Blank Space, Not Enough Vomit - Ch. 7.1
Heyo, team tortoise back again! Nit-picks and nice moments: His tie hung sloppily tied and crinkled against his beer-stained shirt, blood trickling down the inside of his left sleeve. I ...
Jun 4, 2019 -
Re: Too Much Blank Space, Not Enough Vomit - Ch. 6
Much green room many review! Nit-picks: When Ethan went silent This phrasing makes it sound like Ethan is quiet for a particular reason, rather than just having finished what he ...
Jun 3, 2019 -
Re: Suburban Summer Night-*not yet finished* :)
Hi there, welcome to day two of this month's Team Tortoise attempt! Nit-picks: The reflection of sunset off of oak tree leaves. The repetition of 'of' sounds in this sentence ...
Jun 2, 2019 -
Re: Too Much Blank Space, Not Enough Vomit - Ch. 5.2
Heyo, I return from my holiday in France to make a start on Team Tortoise! Nit-picks: He was gonna say more but was cut off by his own groan as ...
Jun 1, 2019 -
Re: Too Much Blank Space, Not Enough Vomit - Ch. 5.1
Hey Oli, since this is quite short I figure I can do a review just now before I go to bed. Nit-picks: He took a seat in the waiting room, ...
May 22, 2019 -
Re: Too Much Blank Space, Not Enough Vomit - Ch. 4.2
Hullo Oli, welcome to Biscuits tries to distract themself from having to interact with idiots! Nit-picks: She grinned, chuckling. "Someone has fucking mommy issues, mate." Okay this is the textbook ...
May 5, 2019 -
Re: Too Much Blank Space, Not Enough Vomit - Ch. 4.1
Hey Oli, let's get started! Nit-picks: "I'm so sorry, I - " he stammered as he met the eyes of the man in front of him. He hadn't seen him ...
May 2, 2019 -
Re: A Pocketful of Posies - Chapter 10
Hello again! Nit-picks: “I just…don’t get what happened,” she said. Ironically I think you picked this up in my story, but I'm unsure if the language of "get" for understand ...
May 1, 2019 -
Re: A Pocketful of Posies - Chapter 9
Hey, I think maybe one more for just now. Starting to feel the tingle of burnout. Nit-picks “Go to the kitchen and ask a maid to bring us some cutlery ...
Apr 30, 2019 -
Re: A Pocketful of Posies - Chapter 8.2
Lol, I love how the dates on the chapters I'm catching up on coincide with my semester starting back at the beginning of this academic year. I'm now going to ...
Apr 30, 2019 -
Re: A Pocketful of Posies - Chapter 8.1
Nobody seems to be online, so I figured I'd stay on the productivity train. Nit-picks and nice moments: As Hildegarde wound up the staircase towards Paris’s office I'm a wee ...
Apr 30, 2019 -
Re: A Pocketful of Posies - Chapter 7
Pan... I just found a half-finished review on this... Nit-picks and nice moments: She had to mean Paris. Nobody else in the house went by ‘he’. Ahhh, nice way to ...
Apr 30, 2019 -
Re: Too Much Blank Space, Not Enough Vomit - Ch. 3
Heyo, I'm hungry and grouchy at my brain so let's see if this takes my mind off it while my noodles get ready! Nit-picks: from Picasso-like self portraits and drawings ...
Apr 29, 2019 -
Re: 5 for Nataliya Arlovskaya - Year 760 (Part 2)
Hi there, you catch me on my quest to conquer the Older tab of the green room! Nit-picks and nice moments: The lone first person she sees Nilitsa tramples. Is ...
Apr 28, 2019 -
Re: [DELETED]
Hiya, you join me on my quest to conquer the Oldest tab of the green room! Firstly, I think the interactions with the servant, Serinity, are initially a bit unrealistic. ...
Apr 28, 2019
